Jealous of Lindsay Lohan

As a person who prides herself as having healthy self-insight and acceptance, I've recently suffered a shock to my love-myself universe. After scanning a magazine cover in the breakroom, I have realized something: I am jealous of Lindsay Lohan. I don't even have a track record of being jealous of teenage stars when I was a teenager. I loved Molly Ringwald, another popular redhead of the past. In fact, we're friends - so what if she doesn't know it. All my best to Hilary Duff, even though parents of 10 yr-old girls often think they're funny when they call me by her name. I'm frustrated by Britney and Christina's hook in impressionable young girls. I'd like to drop kick them, but I'm not jealous. Why Lohan, why now?